17 Reasons “Straight” Men Connect With Dudes
We’ve all had a minumum of one experience that is sexual we’ve hooked up with a self-identified “straight” man. While I’m unbelievably hesitant to call these men “straight” instead of closeted homosexual or bisexual, in my opinion there may be some reasons why“straight that is self-identified males do have intimate relationships along with other guys. Honestly, I’m nearly certain that that means these guys are or aren’t straight. While one of many the biggest facets of sex may be the real sexual functions we participate in, identification is much more complicated than whom we screw, and our actions are just one factor that plays a part in our intimate identification. But having said that, as somebody who is bisexual (and stated being right while starting up with males for 5 years), I additionally understand the energy of self-deception, deep-rooted internalized homophobia/biphobia, confusion, while the concern with utilizing the labels “bisexual” and “gay.”
All that stated, listed below are 17 reasons self-identified “straight” males attach along with other dudes.
1. They are within the cabinet
So let’s start with probably the most most likely and apparent description that I became pressing on into the introduction. These males are actually closeted homosexual or bisexual, but are too afraid of queer labels, and aren’t willing to acknowledge to on their own or other people which they really aren’t directly.
2. It reaffirms their straightness
In Jane Ward’s maybe maybe Not Gay: Intercourse Between directly, White guys, she explores an irony deeply-rooted in same-sex intimate encounters among “straight” men. She claims that the right guy having intercourse along with other men “reaffirms their straightness” by showing that they’re more comfortable with their right sex, enough therefore to sleep along with other guys.
3. It is not considered homosexual until you bottom
In some Latin American countries, you aren’t considered homosexual if you’re the dom/top/receive dental (activo). You’re just gay if you’re a far more feminized man whom bottoms or provides blowjobs (passivo).
4. Drag queen intercourse
I am aware of some fishy queens (a person who can pass as female when in drag) whom sleep with right 
guys, as with any the time that is damn. It is pretty absurd. Now, these queens identification as homosexual guys ( perhaps not trans women), but simply because they look feminine (and gorgeous) in drag, numerous “straight” men sleep together with them.
5. They can’t distinguish between psychological and real closeness
Numerous right men are eager for deep, psychological connections along with other males. They’ve been socialized to think which they don’t require significant male connections, or that when they do want deep connections with other males they’re gay or feminine. Then when they will have a deep, psychological experience of another guy, they could get confused that they, themselves, must be gay by it, thinking. This will probably result in intercourse between two buddies, however the truth of this matter is, they’re not physically drawn to each other; they’re simply confused by their psychological closeness with another guy but because we reside in a culture where psychological closeness between two right guys can be so unusual. This is why, their relationship evolves into intercourse, with regards to should reallyn’t have. They actually are right and platonic buddies.
6. Hazing
While there’s been a crackdown on hazing in a lot of universities, fraternities constantly determine methods for getting around it. Hazing the most homoerotic and strange rituals carried out by “straight” men. “Pledges, chug this container of Tabasco. Oh, and also draw this option’ d*cks.”
7. Fascination
Curiosity not merely kills the pet, it is just exactly what gets straight that is self-identified men to fall asleep along with other guys. In other words, they wish to know very well what all of the hassle is mostly about, despite the fact that they’re perhaps perhaps perhaps not actually or emotionally interested in other guys. They’re also comfortable sufficient within their straightness to understand that into it, they’re not gay or bi if they explore sexually with another man once, and realize they’re not super.